Wednesday, September 28

support and culture

so recently we all received a shocking bad news - one of the dearest registrar in the hospital passed away unexpectedly. it was shocking, it was sad - but everyone, i mean everyone, was supporting each other. everyone took the news and shared the grief together. when we all were gathered to be informed about it; professionals were already there. by that i mean counsellors etc - already ready to provide support should people need them - which obviously people do.

and then there's the funeral. one of the events that is very emotionally exhausting by nature.

one week later there's memorial service - to celebrate the life of the one that just passed. and this one, was quite a positive one. i have never been to any memorial service, that's probably why. but it seems, when sad things happen, people here don't just dwell on it and grieve for a very long time. they make an occasion to commemorate; to cherish; share the moments people have together with the dead. beautiful positive poems were read. people are thankful and grateful for having the chance to have the passed in their life. it was quite beautiful. even with that, i feel massive support given to the family in this tough time. because as they say - live goes on. it's easier said than done, of course. but with this kind of support and event - i think it helps. massively.

with that; i now understand when people say - "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" - the people have that kind of attitude and culture.

all in all. you shall be missed. Even though our encounter was so brief; you have taught me a lot of things about doctor-ing. surely have set great example to everyone that had the pleasure to work with you.

Thursday, April 21

quarter life crisis.. legit.

it WILL hit you especially when you're closer to 30 rather than 20. you will start to think of aaaallll the things you have not achieve in life. and start to wonder what have you been doing for almost 30 years. you look around and see people of your age have got at least a partner if not a family of their own. and then you start reflecting. and thinking. and worrying. mostly worrying. also overthinking.

at least that last part is true for me.

see, i am a quiet type. i like to think i'm introverted. but maybe i'm just overly shy, bordering on autism. well, no. i am not autistic because i remember those happy days as a kid and how i had so many friends. also i didn't meet the criteria for autism. maybe i just grew into a grumpy, shy, unapproachable, socially awkward and anxious guy. which suck on so many different levels.

you just end up being alone most of the time. and it's not because you choose to be, but because you don't know how to do the opposite. being quiet is good sometimes, but people tend to see it as a sign of unfriendliness. unapproachable. so they, understand or not, will leave you alone. maybe you try to mingle with people, but in a group of more than 2 persons, you end up just listening to people talking.

it's really hard to do something when you don't really know how to do it. and don't have the confidence to try. and not really given the chance or support to try. skills then just atrophied. you shrink even further.

and it gets reaaallyy lonely. you get to eat almost all meals by yourself. you do all other activities by yourself, needless to say.

it's really lonely. it's not sad. it's just lonely. bordering pathetic.

it's just lonely.

Friday, March 4

i don't want to make a twitter account... i shall write my thoughts/feelings here instead.

watching Burnt made me feel like cooking. i miss cooking.
but being in malaysia makes me not want to cook. because ingredients are expensive.
also, good food can be found literally everywhere.

not good.
"Lihatlah kepada apa yang dikatakan, jangan lihat kepada siapa yang berkata," - Saidina Ali k.w


Related Posts with Thumbnails