i have been receiving a number of questions on formspring which center on annoying friends lately. conflicts. misunderstanding. irritating. pain in the ass. stressful.(i'm pretty sure you get my point already now, dont you?) what should i do, what will you do, what to do and all those advice seeking questions which are posted in a somewhat raging manner. yes, i know. that happens. indeed. friends can sometimes be annoying. it happens. they do stuff to you. yeah. really.
question is, actually, why?
here's a list of plausible reasons.
- different points of view. you might want to read my previous post on this stuff.
- emotionally unstable. or you call it emo for short. some people, when they enter 'emo' mode, they are very highly extremely remarkably incredibly sensitive to the surrounding. a slight bit of anything can annoy them. thus they annoy people too. just to,u know, make things even. i think. and people dont normally go emo for no reason. problems are usually the trigger.
- a way of showing 'affection'. especially those of opposite genders. i know a few guys that transform into a jerk around some girls that they like. and i see the response. girls got annoyed. and they - the guys - are somewhat happy!
- a way of saying 'i dont like you'. yeah, same action, different meaning. but you can spot the difference. if someone doesnt like you, and he annoys you, you can see the disgust or hatred on his face. this, mind you, occurs for a reason too. maybe you are the one annoying them. and they dont like it. so they annoy you back. *duh~*
- genetic. this might sound rude in a way, because when you say genetic it means it is inherited from the parents. but....anyway, what i'm trying to say here is that some people are nurtured with that,uh, u know, behaviour. they are not actually born that way, but rather they are grown up with it.
nevertheless, it is solvable! yay!
to every problem, there is solution.
yeah, surah al-insyirah has this. 'faiinnamaal 'usri yusra'
- think. before you go off and post some pissed off status on your facebook, think. why do they do this? what have i done wrong? what's wrong with him? is she okay? now that you a few reasons to pick (as stated above),i dont see any setbacks of thinking why. if you're lucky enough, you might end up helping them solve their problems, if they have any. which is good by the way. as it solves yours too.
- talk. yes. talk. to them. to that particular person that annoys you. not to other people who do not know what's going on. unless you are seeking advice, don't tell others how bad your friends are behaving and how annoyed you got when they do so, for this back-talking shall never solve any problem. it will just make things worse. sure, you might feel relieved when you tell someone about your anger, about your dissatisfaction, but that won't last long. because you dont hit the root of the problem, instead just playing around with the branches. u know what i mean. tell the person how annoyed you are when they do that thing they do (macam lagu the wonders la pulak. ahaa.. )
- discuss peacefully. dont let your anger gets the best of you. open yourself up to advices and suggestions while advising and giving suggestions to reduce the tension between you two. or three. or four.
- ignore the person. yeah, that'll teach him. or her. miahahaha. no. seriously. let them do whatever they want. just be patient. they would know when to stop. this is the last resort,of course. given that you dont have the guts to do any of the previous solutions.
- and never forget to pray. everything is in Allah's hand. no matter what you do, He is the one that knows, that decides. your job is the effort, His job is the results. prayer must go alongside everything. when you are tired of your friends 'bullying' you and there's nothing you can do (there are things you can do, you just do not want to do it), remember: Allah is there with you. He is the most powerful. the most merciful. the most understanding. the most wise. the most fair. and He is ALWAYS with those who are patient. hurm.. while i'm at it, i might as well add, repent. maybe you have been doing something wrong and that God wants to show you something.
and the list goes on and on, if you ask me. be creative. use the 'thing' that God has given you. the thing that is located inside of your head, which is enveloped by a 3 layer membrane called meninges, which in turn is protected by a flat bone called the skull, and then covered by the skin, and then hair. yes. it is called brain. and one of the functions is to think. use it wisely.
|regardless of size, utilize it!|
oh, and dont get into a fight. even if you are born a fighter (what the deuce?), and you think the only way to solve problem and ease dissatisfaction is through fighting, which in reality is not, find a good and proper way to fight. like taekwondo sparring. =D it's like safe sex. except that you dont have to wear condoms to do it. and it is legal. law wise. religion-wise too. =)